I heard a Wayne Dyer lecture several years back and one thing he said has stuck with me, all these years. He asked when you squeeze something what comes out?
The answer is profoundly simple, obviously, what’s inside.
So what comes out when you are squeezed by life? Anxiety, fear, outrage, defensiveness, anger, hopelessness, or do you have a more peaceful, non-judgmental, kind response? I used to react with frustration, anger, helplessness followed by depression, all in varying degrees depending on the day and how tightly I was being squeezed. Those are pretty typical responses for a stressed out individual. That’s what I felt inside and that’s what came oozing out.
I didn’t like it though, I hated reacting. Especially reacting in that manner, because usually I uttered frustrated, unhappy, stressed out things that I inevitably regretted. Plus it just felt yucky, and I can’t stand feeling yucky. Additionally it left me feeling powerless, like I had no choice in the matter. Life happened and I blew up or broke down, because I was not aware there was a choice in the matter. There has to be another way, I kept thinking. Luckily I found that other way.
I’m a big advocate for natural. So I began asking if it is natural for a person to be constantly stressed and cranky? Am I naturally a stressed out grumpy person? (No) Why do I always react this way? (Because that’s how I feel, I feel powerless to change this situation and I’ve always reacted this way and most people I know react this way and if I just blow off the steam I’ll feel a little better and…and..and…) What would I have to believe is true, to have this outburst, or reaction? (That I really don’t have any control over my life, I am powerless to respond, I’m not prepared for this, why does this always keep happening?) Does it SERVE me to believe this way? (uhhh, probably not) Then why do I believe this? (…..) What could I possibly believe that might actually serve me?
So, by constantly seeking the why behind all my behaviors, the root cause, I began to determine why I felt bowled over by life. The root cause for every behavior and response is belief, they are literally the keeper of keys and grounds, within your mind and as a result, what you allow yourself to perceive. Do you have a competent keeper of the structures that rule your life?
Our beliefs are so vitally important, they literally build the life we enjoy (or survive). I won’t get too detailed here but just think for a minute, how you feel when you are in a “good” mood. You feel lighter, you feel friskier, you feel more playful, you feel at ease, you feel inspired, you feel motivated to do stuff and maybe go places, you have ideas, etc. Conversely when you are in a “bad” mood, you feel heavier, you might feel tired, you feel closed off, you think the world is conspiring against you, you can’t see the open door just to your left because you are so busy glaring at the closed door right in front of you that you thought should be open, etc.
So, how do we go about busting up those bogus beliefs and replacing them with the ones that rebuild you, from the inside out? That way when life squeezes you, you respond in lieu of reacting. Responsibility gets a bad wrap sometimes, but really its a lovely word. The more responsible you are, the better you flow through life. Responsibility infers power, response, choice, reaction is merely you defending yourself. You increase your response-ability the further you strip yourself down to your natural state. So where to begin?
What situation or event caused this response? Was it something specific or just anything sets you off? This happened and that is how I reacted. I didn’t like the way I reacted, how could I react differently? Why did I react this way? These questions will lead you to the area of self you need to focus on to resolve this issue and heal yourself.
If its many areas, just pick one and begin. Usually when you unearth a belief that is affecting, say your finances, you discover that the belief has been affecting all areas of your life, in some form or fashion. So you get more bang for your buck.
Important note, we must BE different in order to react differently, to transform that reaction into a response. So how do you go about transforming a belief? First by understanding that ALL beliefs are optional and not absolute. Think about any number of beliefs you have changed over the course of your life. I’m sure there are many. Why then do we get stuck in the belief 🙂 that we can’t change a belief, that a belief is an absolute truth and immutable? It’s just a belief and just because something is true for you, doesn’t mean it’s true for me, or anyone else for that matter.
Abraham (Abraham Hicks) always says a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. So begin thinking new thoughts. Ask yourself, “What must I believe is true for me to have this reaction/response?” Then ask yourself, “Why am I CHOOSING to believe I must feel this way, respond this way, be this way? Does this belief serve me? Does it open me up, allow me to see more possibilities or contract me to the point of suffocation? If I CHOOSE to believe this belief is serving me, then in what ways is it serving me? Can I choose to believe something different about this situation or myself? What would serve me better?”
Now, I hold the belief that life is a reflection of the predominant beliefs that I allow to run through my mind. My belief is that the natural state of a human is to feel peace and confidence and freedom and joy, and regardless of what circumstances life offers up to me, it is always my choice as to how I will respond. I changed the structure of those beliefs to one that serves me and feels better. This allows an utterly new way of life to unfold that was previously closed off to me. All I did was change the habitual patterns of thinking I previously felt trapped by. Life, and everything I encounter in it, is for my benefit, for my highest good. Life has no choice but to reflect that new belief back to me in all the glorious ways it has.
We all need healing, until such time as we realize we don’t, that we are absolutely perfect, just as we are. Quirks and foibles and beliefs and all.
Life happenes…to all of us, or rather through all of us, but not with malice and not without rhyme or reason. Life is merely a reflection of the balance of patterns, mental and emotional patterns that you allow to run you. Are you controlling the flow and direction of those patterns or do you feel like a victim of life? If you feel like a victim, then begin to unearth the beliefs that have held you captive. The ties that bind are only in your mind.
Do you perhaps feel like life is something out there that is bigger than you and you have no control over it, its this juggernaut that flattens you constantly? Or do you realize life is merely a reflection of the internal world of belief structures your consciousness is playing in?
Life is a constant invitation to view the truth of yourself, to see the truth beneath the patterns, the quiet behind the storm.
Uncover yourself, uncover your truth…and be free.