You know what I love about this big, bold, beautiful, amazing, magical, fucked up, fantastic, fanciful, gigantic mess of a world on which we live?
EVERYTHING! All of it! The whole gloopy glorious mess!! The good and the bad, the right and the wrong, the day and the night, the good guys and the bad guys, the happy and the sad, the loving and the hateful, the predators and the prey, the depressed and the joyous. Why??? Because I CHOSE to be here. I chose to be an incarnate being at THIS most amazing, crazy, awakening “point” in history. I chose to be here, and I can choose to be elsewhere. I have the choice of what to do and where to be and how to feel, in EVERY given moment.
Can you FEEL the freedom in that?? No one is forcing us to be here. We aren’t being held here against our will. We CHOSE to be here and we choose how we feel about that, and what we can do about that. It’s all choice and focused attention. I LOVE KNOWING THAT!! God, the freedom, the utter perfection in that awareness!
No, the world ISN’T perfect, and the world IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!! It’s perfection lies in the totality of it, ALL OF IT. It all depends on HOW I CHOOSE to view it. How I choose to respond to it. When we operate unconsciously we are so attached to the patterns of life, that we can’t see we are even in a pattern of beliefs. We then believe whatever we are told and believe that the evidence of our physical senses is IT. If I can see it and hear it and smell it and taste it and touch it, then it must be true, can’t argue against that…. If we refuse to awaken to reality, we remain caught up in its gigantic web of patterns within patterns. And we react. And that’s alright! My goodness that’s perfectly alright and a completely valid way to experience life, but damn can it can make for a bumpy ride!
And guess what? Waking up can be hard to do too. I still think it’s utterly worth it! I hit the snooze button on my conscious awareness for a LONG time. Still do occasionally, and boy does THAT make for some interesting experiences! So WHAT?! That’s life, that’s the world and I’m here experiencing it! A few years ago, I couldn’t wait to be dead I was so fed up and sick of this bs life, and that’s how I lived, as if I were dead. Today, I’ve never felt more alive and more joyous and more free! I’ve never felt this in the flow, in the fun, ENJOYING this crazy game known as life. The good AND the bad, because it’s all good. Because it IS a game. A game I CHOSE to play, and continue to choose to play. Same exact life, same person, same exact entity, but happy, free, free from ALL the previous definitions that used to beat me to a pulp.
What changed? My mind, my beliefs, my FOCUS, I choose to RESPOND to life now instead of react to life. I chose to understand that I do create my life out of the things I choose to pay my all important coin of attention to. The lights are coming on, all over this big world of ours, the curtain is rising, as we speak. Think about a slowly brightening room, what happens? Well anything that was comfy and safe in the dark becomes more and more visible. All that beautiful, terrible stuff that was hiding in the darkness, becomes perceived. The world is waking up and every being on the planet is waking up along with it.
Doesn’t mean everyone is going to become a guru and sit around in cool clothes and talk about harnessing chi and positive vibes and such. Doesn’t mean we are all going to get along and sing kumbaya…and it doesn’t mean the end of the world is nigh. Far from it, it just means we are transitioning. What happens when one movie is over and the lights come up?? Well you can get up and go home or you can decide to watch another movie, sure it’s an ending of a sort, but not THE END.
We all came here to be different, we all came in with different levels of awareness, so someone that is sound ass asleep, is going to wake up more slowly than someone that came in to this reality almost awake. Doesn’t mean we aren’t all waking up, just means we are waking up at different paces, at different levels. And you know what? That’s awesome! Again, what a boring world this would be if we all looked the same, sounded the same, believed the same, woke up at the same time and in the same manner, etc.
We came from Unity, we came from that sameness to have the experience of different, to have the experience of unique, to have the experience of fear, of not love. We came here for experience, good ones, bad ones, happy ones, sad ones, scared ones, joyous ones. ALL OF THEM! We came for the party, even when we don’t realize it’s a party. But it is, and we chose to be here.
My CHOICE is everything. In every moment of life, I have the option to be response-able, or be reactive. To perpetuate unconscious patterns or step outside of the automated reaction, take RESPONSIBLILITY for HOW I FEEL and choose. I can continue to choose to feel the way I feel and have felt about a thing, or I can actually CHOOSE to feel something else.
“Let’s see, for the 10,000 times that this has happened to me previously, I’ve always offered THIS reaction. I never did like the way it felt, but it seemed the appropriate reaction… Because I didn’t realize I could actually CHOOSE a response, in lieu of merely reacting. What a novel concept. But damn it’s hard because so and so’s such a dick!” Or whatever, feel free to insert your repetitive reaction here…. 🙂
People CHOOSE their lives, yes even the crappiest life on the planet, is a perfectly VALID choice. Who am I to judge that life? The goodness or the badness of it. The rightness or the wrongness of it? The appropriateness or lack of appropriateness of it? It’s not MY life. I didn’t chose it, I chose this one. What makes my choice of living THIS life any better or worse than that one which I am deeming “less than” or “wrong”? Its not any better, or any worse. It is simply mine.
I honor your choice of life, I honor your struggle, because I came in with struggle too. All of us did, in some form or fashion. I felt trapped by my own struggle, unable to escape my reactive feelings…until I realized I could. I honor the choice of those that are overwhelmed and full of fear and see only the darkness, when all around us the evidence of the light shines forth brighter and brighter. I might not agree with you, and you might think I’m craze-balls, but that’s ok. Its still our choice.
There will always be contrast, but if the focus remains on what is wrong, then it will continue to be wrong. Where attention goes energy flows. So I choose to focus on solutions. I choose to focus on things always working out. I choose to focus on the people I love being happy. I choose to focus on the world being a remarkable place.
Does it always work? Depends on my focus. If I run every time someone yells fire, then no, I get dragged back into patterns. I feel righteous indignation and outrage and helplessness etc and guess what life serves up to me? Yep, more of the same, so that I can continue to have those sort of crap feeling reactions, until I decide I have the OPTION to FEEL however the eff I want to feel about a thing. Until then, I am not free.
Life hands us whatever we focus upon, without question, without judgment. We are that free, we are that supported, we are that loved, and patterns of reality are that sticky! They are so TANGIBLE, so REAL… We are so free we can choose being trapped, being stuck. What are you bound to, trapped by, stuck in or with? What are you so fearful of losing (good or bad) that you aren’t willing to let go of?
How do we identify ourselves? Through definitions, through causes, through attachments, jobs, lovers. All our I am’s. I had a big realization yesterday, a huge one. I’ve been so defining myself by a specific situation that when I seriously considered removing myself from this long held position I was almost strangled by fear.
“NO! This is my life! Who I am without this? How would I live?”
Wait, what? I heard my reaction and saw how much of my power I was channeling in to this one teensy tiny little aspect of my reality, of my life. How much of MY power I was giving away to judgment and fear. So that it became ALL that I could see, all life could hand back to me. We are defined by what we do, yes, but even that flows from patterns of thought, choices of being, but those choices are NOT cast in stone. We are energy, and energy is boundless, energy is limitless. Where are the walls that can contain energy? By identifying with that situation, by limiting myself to THAT choice of reality, I built a wall around my limitless energy. I confined myself to a painful reality, not just emotionally painful, physically painful as well, to the point of physical deterioration. The ties that bind, are ALL IN THE MIND.
They are all made up, so how then can we define and judge the world as right or wrong, good or bad? Do we know the story of every being that walks this earth? Do we wake up and peer out of those eyes that we have judged and condemned as so bad or wrong? No, we wake up and peer out of our own eyes, eyes which see what we choose to see and connect to a mind that chooses what it wishes to focus on and erects an entire world out of a system of beliefs that are unique for THAT individual, only.
I’d love to be able to end this post by telling you I jumped up this morning and changed my life radically and for the better. But, I’m still attached to the belief that I need this thing in my life, for now. I’m aware of the pattern now though, I’m aware of the huge amount of fear fed judgment I have wrapped around the entire thing. I can continue to choose this, or I can let it go, but the fact that I’m fully aware of it now is a great thing. I have realized yet another pattern that had me circling the unconscious fishbowl of myself, asking why, why, why?
I can’t fix the world by focusing on what’s wrong with it. Not out there and not in here, within me. I can fix myself, though, by realizing I was never broken. I might have been by someone else’s standards, by the general consensus, by the “rules” arbitrarily put into place by a fearful group of folks that really needed to exercise CONTROL, by someone else who was just as lost in the unconscious shuffle of patterns as I ever was.
I am human, I am perfectly human, with all my glorious imperfections! We came for experience, we came for patterns, the good ones and the bad ones we came to live within them and transcend them. I just became aware of a ginormous one that no longer serves me, the question is, will I be able to let it go? It’s a bigun! Full of all that juicy fear and drama we humans are so attracted to. I’ll give you a prediction, I think I’ll win out over my fear, because I’ve been conquering my fears for months and months now. The more I release, the less hold it has over me, but like I said, this is a bigun. One of those core beliefs that makes the world spin and such. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. I think even more remarkable experience lies beyond this choice too, once I allow myself to make it.
What can you let go of today that might, just might, make your world a better place? I dare ya to let it go, I triple dog dare ya! ❤